Question for this Pioneer day

"HammerheadFistpunch" (hammerheadfistpunch) 07/24/2015 at 11:28 • Filed to: None

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Its July the 24th which means its !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! in Utah. Basically its when Mormon settlers who were forced from their homes in Missouri and elsewhere finally made it into the salt lake valley and decided that it was a pretty great place. What this means for me is that there is no one in my office cause its a holiday and I apparently didn’t get the memo. No really I did but I’m taking next Friday off to go camping so here i am. Anyway, in honor of the frankly amazing feat of traveling cross country on foot I submit to you the question: What vehicle would you pick for crossing the country? So here is the twist, you can pick anything you want, but you have to time travel back to 1847 to use it. Is Miata really the answer...is it?!

CalzoneGolem > HammerheadFistpunch 07/24/2015 at 11:33

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With a fully stocked fuel pod.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > HammerheadFistpunch 07/24/2015 at 11:34

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Kona Unit 29er or something similar, like a tour divide bike.

HammerheadFistpunch > CalzoneGolem 07/24/2015 at 11:34

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That natives are...well where are the natives? hmm, oh well. braaaaaaap!

HammerheadFistpunch > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 07/24/2015 at 11:35

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dat saddle sore

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > HammerheadFistpunch 07/24/2015 at 11:37

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As long as I can bring a bin of tools and a trailer of spares, Land Rover Series all the way. Anything needing welding can be fixed with 19th century blacksmithing resources, being mild steel, and the mechanical bits will run at 25mph all day, every day. Will run on really shitty fuel made up from lamp oil (diesel) and/or moonshine (gas), other oils can be topped off with existing machine supplies (whale oil, anyone?), and not an asphalt road in sight = not a problem. I only need tires and brakes to hold out for one cross-country trip, so I’ll fill the tires with runflat foam. The next question is what rifle to take...

CalzoneGolem > HammerheadFistpunch 07/24/2015 at 11:38

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All flora and fauna are scared of my whirling death machine!

HammerheadFistpunch > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 07/24/2015 at 11:39

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hmm, well thought out. I like. As for a riffle, I think a drone with a machine gun attached. so you can shoot more food than you can carry.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > HammerheadFistpunch 07/24/2015 at 11:45

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RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > HammerheadFistpunch 07/24/2015 at 11:46

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The other, less-easy-to-work-on option is an epic offroading Scania like in the Gods Must Be Crazy II, but if it breaks down in any significant way, you’re boned, ability to blaze its own trail in flatlands notwithstanding. The Landy can (particularly if it’s a I) be ferried over obstacles by locals or tipped off its wheels with a lever pole. The Scania, not so much. My grandparents ran Landies in South Korea in the 50s-70s, and with limited parts lines into rural areas, my mention of 19th century blacksmith shops was not an idle boast. They tried Jeeps - they fatigue-cracked in half on SK roads. Tried Yotes, but I think rust and ability to work on pushed them down the list.

itschrome > HammerheadFistpunch 07/24/2015 at 11:48

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obvious answer is a UNICAT rv converted to run off ethanol or maybe natural gas/kerosene what ever was being mass produced during that time.

Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! > HammerheadFistpunch 07/24/2015 at 11:50

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If I travel back to 1847, do I have to find fuel too? If I don’t have to worry about fuel, the answer is Unimog.

If I do have to worry about fuel, the answer is Altai horse. Probably the toughest horses there are.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > itschrome 07/24/2015 at 11:51

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Whale oil, obviously.

Alfalfa > HammerheadFistpunch 07/24/2015 at 11:52

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I just get to go home 3 hours early. Considering it’s my first day back since my vacation, friday, early out, and I’m giving my notice, I can live with that.

And I would definitely be driving some sort of group B homologation hot hatch.

itschrome > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 07/24/2015 at 11:52

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yes! WHALE OIL!

HammerheadFistpunch > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! 07/24/2015 at 11:54

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let pretend fuel source isn’t an issue.

Alfalfa > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! 07/24/2015 at 11:55

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Fun fact: Oxen were the preferred choice over horses for their tendency not to die and leave you stranded on the plains.

Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! > Alfalfa 07/24/2015 at 11:57

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Can you ride an Oxen though? I wasn't aware you could. But I guess you could technically ride a Moose if you could find a way to stay on.

Alfalfa > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! 07/24/2015 at 12:01

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Not really, no. If you’re mainly taking yourself, a horse would likely do (i.e. Pony Express). But for taking belongings and family members, the equivalent of a semi would work much better than the equivalent of a herd of Miatas hauling a semi trailer.

CalzoneGolem > HammerheadFistpunch 07/24/2015 at 12:14

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This doesn’t change my answer in any way.

HammerheadFistpunch > CalzoneGolem 07/24/2015 at 12:15

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nor should it.

RallyWrench > HammerheadFistpunch 07/24/2015 at 12:16

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Anything? Like, an airplane? ;) I’ll go with the spirit here and say I’ll take a BMW Dakar 650 or similar. Agile, fast enough, can take a beating, good on dirt wagon tracks, and can carry enough to support one person for awhile. What fun is it if it’s not a little challenging? Plus, you can introduce 1847 to the magnificence of the wheelie.

HammerheadFistpunch > RallyWrench 07/24/2015 at 12:18

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I like where this is going. You are welcome to take an airplane if you can find a place to land in in the salt lake valley in 1847

Ed, for the old good times > HammerheadFistpunch 07/24/2015 at 12:24

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1847. No roads. No fuel. Only one obvious answer.

HammerheadFistpunch > Ed, for the old good times 07/24/2015 at 12:25

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but “damn, I tore the fuel line”

Frank Grimes > HammerheadFistpunch 07/24/2015 at 12:30

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one of these painted say gray with orange stripes and a airstream camper mounted on the back for sleeping. .50cal machine gun on roof to defend against indians and a barret for shooting buffaloes. Also super comfy suspension seats like in buses and stuff. and a loud speaker and an ipod to scare everything.

kinda like this cept bigger

HammerheadFistpunch > Frank Grimes 07/24/2015 at 12:31

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I was going to go duece and and half, but I like this too.

Alfalfa > HammerheadFistpunch 07/24/2015 at 13:03

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Salt Flats? It would be quite the hike back, but compared to hiking the entire way...

HammerheadFistpunch > Alfalfa 07/24/2015 at 13:05

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thats true, and in July they should be pretty dry and flat (unlike now...stupid “real salt” miners)